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How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

08.06.2025 09:22

How can couples reverse the buildup of resentment once they notice it?

By deciding to stop with the criticism and the nagging and instead say thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for loving me.

By wanting to truly understand each other, despite feeling unheard.

By resolving to listen with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

What were the first few days, weeks, months and then years like after finding out about your spouses infidelity? How did your feelings, and yours & their approach to the situation change in the immediate aftermath compared to later down the line?

By internalizing that responding with kindness is strength, not weakness.

By taking turns talking.

By keeping in mind it’s OK to have different opinions and different experiences, and they both matter in equal measure.

I'm looking for an answer from people who consider themselves "Gender Critical", or transphobic, or TERFs, and my question is this - Why would you refuse to use the pronouns someone wants? What does it cost you? Where's the harm?

By learning to validate what the other is feeling. “I can absolutely see why you feel this way.”

By giving up the notion that someone has to “win” or that anyone loses by saying “you are right”, “I am sorry”, or “I can do better.”